Friday Afternoon Updates

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Obviously I wasn’t really online yesterday, partially because I was so busy and partially because there’s a certain sacredness about a funeral that does demand your attention. Or it should, anyway. Overall, it was a very nice day. My father-in-law wasn’t particularly religious, so it wouldn’t have made sense to do the usual sort of pomp-and-circumstance type funeral.  He wasn’t actually Buddhist either, but much of his family is so there were a lot of little touches in that respect. I actually found it to be far more comforting than other funerals I’ve attended. Maybe it’s because it was so relaxed and laid back – there was no priest, no overtone of forgiveness or sins or anything like that. (Yeah, I come from the Catholic background – every funeral I’ve been to has been dark and depressing and terribly solemn.) We had a table set up with his picture and… Read more

From the Mouths of Babes

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There’s something sort of mind-numbing about the process of death. On one level, there’s grief – however a person chooses to acknowledge it – and sometimes that can take a while. But there’s also the fact that the world as a whole doesn’t stop turning, even if time has halted in yours. There are the mundane tasks of dealing with “arrangements”, banks to be called, hospital bills to take care of, family to notify, clothes and personal belongings to sort through. And memories to hold or cast away as one must. All of it has to get done by someone, so I suspect there’s a coping mechanism of sorts that allows us a few moments of pain and then pushes us forward, back into “normality,” for at least the time it takes us to get things done. Although I have gone through this before, in some ways this is a… Read more


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Hey, guys. As much as I wanted to spend some time this evening recapping all the fabulous stuff that happened this past week, I have to put that on hold for a while. A few hours ago, mr myn’s father had a very severe stroke. He’s in the hospital with bleeding on the brain and is not expected to wake up at this point. So we’re in the middle of bedside vigils right now and for rather obvious reasons, I probably won’t be around much this week. ETA: Thanks so much for the emails and comments. JM passed away about 11 AM this morning, but  he went peacefully.… Read more


Posted in blog, jewelry, rambling, sick, ye ye | Leave a comment
Both Lucy and I are running fevers tonight, so I suspect there’s a sick day in it for me tomorrow, or at least a day working from home if she’s not feeling any better. She’s definitely got the worst of it at the moment – my temp is running on the edge of uncomfortable with an side order of headache, but it’s manageable. Of course, it would be more manageable if I could actually take drugs for it, but alas, once I start down the road with aspirin or ibuprofen, my prolotherapy goes down the crapper. Anyway, today was good in other ways, as Ye Ye celebrated his 80th birthday. He actually managed to make it out to the Peking Gourmet Inn (if you live near DC, this is *the* place to go for Peking duck, bar none. There’s a reason the walls are lined with photos of celebrities and… Read more

The Compassion of Dignity

Posted in Grandpa, grief, ye ye | 4 Comments
There is an old man in my neighborhood whose wife has Alzheimer’s. I’ve waved at him as I’ve driven by, but I’ve never spoken to him. I’ve never seen his wife either. He spends his entire day locked in the house with her, taking care of her needs. And every day at about 5 PM, he puts her to bed and comes out of the house and goes for a walk. He walks for a long time. He explained to our neighbors that he has to. I imagine it’s his only way of escaping what has probably become a daily hell – having to take complete and utter care of the one you decided to grow old with…and knowing that she will never know or understand the sacrifice he’s given her. I’m skating the edges of this blog post at the moment. There are things on my mind dealing with Ye… Read more