The Compassion of Dignity

Posted in Grandpa, grief, ye ye | 4 Comments
There is an old man in my neighborhood whose wife has Alzheimer’s. I’ve waved at him as I’ve driven by, but I’ve never spoken to him. I’ve never seen his wife either. He spends his entire day locked in the house with her, taking care of her needs. And every day at about 5 PM, he puts her to bed and comes out of the house and goes for a walk. He walks for a long time. He explained to our neighbors that he has to. I imagine it’s his only way of escaping what has probably become a daily hell – having to take complete and utter care of the one you decided to grow old with…and knowing that she will never know or understand the sacrifice he’s given her. I’m skating the edges of this blog post at the moment. There are things on my mind dealing with Ye… Read more

The Keeper of Memories

Posted in grief, memories, mom | 12 Comments
Against the betterment of my diet, I bought a package of circus peanuts at the store this week. The original orange ones. My grandmother used to give them to me and my brother when I was very young and we went to visit her at her tiny beach house on LBI in the summer. It’s funny how something that really tastes so craptacular can still have the power to transport me back to that time. So I eat the whole damn bag, each bite releasing a moment I haven’t given thought to in a very long time. I remember the green sofa I used to sleep on sometimes – the one that always had sand on it, no matter how many times I’d try to brush it off. The tiny swindle glasses that I was allowed to use to drink real Pepsi. The ceramic chicken-shaped bowls I would eat scrambled… Read more