Upon Reflection

Posted in metaphoric crap that is supposed to mean something deep but probably doesn't, mom, random, updates | Leave a comment
I had plans for today’s post. Today being *the* day as far as such things can be measured. I’ve actually been working on a render the last few weeks – it’ mostly a private one  – an sort of artistic bleed of my inner turmoil, maybe. And if I get around to finishing, I may end up posting it – but sometimes I’ve found that it sort of cheapens the effect. So we’ll have to see about that.  In either case, my plans were busted when I went to run through another pass of the image that didn’t quite mesh right and *poof*. The Power Supply of my new computer died and tripped the breaker for that side of the house. Which freaked me out a bit, but eventually I figured out what was going on, reset the breaker and then attempted to start up the computer. Only it didn’t.… Read more

The Keeper of Memories

Posted in grief, memories, mom | 12 Comments
Against the betterment of my diet, I bought a package of circus peanuts at the store this week. The original orange ones. My grandmother used to give them to me and my brother when I was very young and we went to visit her at her tiny beach house on LBI in the summer. It’s funny how something that really tastes so craptacular can still have the power to transport me back to that time. So I eat the whole damn bag, each bite releasing a moment I haven’t given thought to in a very long time. I remember the green sofa I used to sleep on sometimes – the one that always had sand on it, no matter how many times I’d try to brush it off. The tiny swindle glasses that I was allowed to use to drink real Pepsi. The ceramic chicken-shaped bowls I would eat scrambled… Read more

That Time of Year

Posted in mom | 9 Comments
I’ve attempted to rewrite this blog post several times today and it’s just not working. There’s nothing particularly pithy about grief, honestly – or the way people deal with it. Or don’t deal with it, sometimes. I keep mine shuttered very deeply most of the time. But it’s here now, poking at the surface. And it will be for the next few weeks. It’s just how I work, I guess.… Read more