Screaming Monkeys and Luggage Condoms

Yesterday was Father’s Day, obviously – most of which I spent over at the in-laws. Mr myn’s dad is in the more advanced stages of Parkinson’s, so it’s a rather bittersweet sort of holiday. In fact, I’m feeling rather private about it, so I’m not going to say much more than we had dim sum and the kids all played in the pool and we enjoyed the day as best we could.

For my own little family celebration, we kept it pretty low key. Mr myn and I have gotten to the point where we don’t spend a huge amount of money on these sorts of holidays. I decided to be a bit more tongue-in-cheek this time around and made a number of small purchases to contribute to his Zombie Apocalypse Kit. (Yes, he sort of has one. No, it’s not for zombies. But I call it that anyway since it involves of lot of survivalist type stuff.) Part of said kit now includes the Flingshot Screaming Monkey. Because it is awesome. And sure to fill the zombies with fear when it comes rocketing past them from the top of my roof.

Saturday was a fair amount of fun in its own right – involving a trip to the spa for the usual wax and pedi routine. Although oddly enough, the purple polish I chose turned out to be iridescent (on the green side of things.) And it’s already managed to chip, so I’m a little pissy about that. And then I met @KAKrantz for dinner at Silver Diner. There were milkshakes involved. The kind with peanut butter. And chunks of Heath Bar. Just sayin’

And btw, @KAKrantz is about the most awesome person on the face of the planet, with an utterly incredible sense of timing and deadpan humor. I giggled madly. We totally gossiped about @JeffeKennedy as well, simply because we could 😉

And then in an awesome bit of redneck boredom, we trotted around the mall and ogled handbags. I insisted we go into the Brighton store. (And Williams-Sonoma, but that’s a different sort of post entirely). Although I am a bit of a Brighton purse whore, I wanted to look at the their luggage. With my back the way it is, I  want to get a bigger upright suitcase that I can pull behind me. And I kind of like the Brighton one.

But upon closer look I realized that 1) It’s not really worth $550. Hell, I can buy an entire luggage *set* for $200. It’s not really big enough either.

2) It’s not overly well made. That’s cloth on the outside there. If I were just tossing suitcases in my car or whatever, it would probably be okay, but airline travel? Eh, not so much. I can totally see it getting shredded. Even the sales clerk said as much – suggesting that I look into purchasing the plastic cover for it. (Which ran another $125.) @KAKrantz just sort of looked at her and said, “You know, if my luggage actually requires a condom to survive baggage claim, I don’t think I want it.”


Yeah, I agree. Anyone got a lead on girly girl suitcases that are totally cool with being barebacked? (And given the way the airlines seem to be bending us all over these days, I’m pretty comfortable with that analogy.)

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11 Responses to Screaming Monkeys and Luggage Condoms

  1. Jeffe says:

    Damn, that KAK is good with the one-liner! That was such the perfect set-down I don't even mind that she gossipped about me!

  2. Simon says:

    Barebacked… *snarf*

    Southwest for the win, man. They're the only airline I've found that doesn't actively try to sodomize you. I mean… unless you like that kind of thing. In which case go ahead and fly U.S. Air. With overweight bags. Three of them. Y'know.

  3. Danica says:

    Well really, who knows what those bags get up to when they're in transit? A couple of hours or more of travel can leave any suitcase feeling frisky! And the LAST thing someone with a really nice case wants is to end up with a bunch of half-Prada, half-Wal-Mart tote bags 9 months later.

    KAK, though I haven't had the honor of chatting with her in any media other than Twitter and blog, is definitely a person I'd hang with just for the Meat Loaf knowledge alone. Throw in her sense of humor and she's BFF material.

  4. Kelly says:

    Condoms for suitcases…I am rolling on the floor right now.  Gasping for air.  Too funny.  Next time I want to go shopping too.  Now I have to rush to twitter so I can find this twitter bud and follow.  Thanks for the great laugh today.

  5. KAK says:

    Do you think they sold post-pedi flip-flops for the delicate suitcase wheels too, or such items of fine craftsmanship purely part of the sales uniform?

    As for luggage, sans prophylactics,

  6. KAK says:

    Aww, thanks.

    If you listened closely, you could hear the baggie condom singing, "If she wants to get rough I'm Masculine." Just sayin…

  7. KAK says:

    Honey, all of the Silver Diner knows about you…when they're not singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"


    And Over

    And Over

  8. Danica says:


  9. mynfel says:

    Heh. I was gonna say – I think for that price, the Brighton suitcase should totally just play that song. 🙂

  10. mynfel says:



  11. LynnM says:

    Buy whatever suitcase you want, but you can always get it shrink-wrapped like they do in most European airports. No condom required. Saves on grease stains…or whatever that black gunk is….

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