Ok. I realize that I am an idiot. It’s true. The perverse side of me that *needs* to know how an operation works has pushed me over the edge. And I’ve been looking at nasty youtube videos all morning, which I’ll spare all of you. (But if you’re dying to know, just look up microdiscetomy – the ones where the surgeon is listening to classical music pretty much ends it for me. LOL). Of course, seeing what amounts to what looks like tweezers diving and gouging into something that looks like raw hamburger meat doesn’t really help. So I found the video up above and after watching it, the other ones actually started to make sense.
Does it make me feel any better?
No. Not really.
While I realize that it’s a fairly small surgery – like 45 minutes, it’s still my fucking spine. And there’s still a chance that this isn’t going to fix anything at all. (which would really, really suck). But the daily pain is increasing. I’ve moved up the scale from a 5 to about a 7, so it’s still getting worse. And I haven’t slept right in over a month now, so I suppose I don’t have much choice.
On the other hand, I suppose it’s a damn good thing I never got that tramp-stamp tattoo when I had the chance.
D-Day is tomorrow, just past noon. I figure I’ll have one more panicky blog post tomorrow morning, but I wouldn’t expect anything else out of me for a few days, as I suspect I’ll be rather hopped up on the percocet.