Not So Panicky Post No. 1

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This will just be a short update, atm, but can I just say how awesome it was to come home to the 30-odd emails in my inbox tonight, full of all those well-wishes and prayers?  Totally made my day, so huge, huge *hugs* to everyone. There is definitely a lot of pain here, but it is bearable right now. We’ll see how I am tomorrow, after the oxy wears off – crazy drug, that.  (And yes, I’m completely high right now). As long as I move slowly, I can manage walking and sitting, and even sleeping.  Pain down my legs is gone, so now it’s just surgery site stuff, which feels like it’s going to be rather brutal tomorrow, but I’ll worry about that later. Thanks again, everyone!… Read more

Sort of Panicky Post No. 1

Posted in surgery | 4 Comments
No makeup. No lotions. No jewelry.  Special antiseptic scrub to wash in. No eating or drinking after midnight. (what am I, a gremlin?) Lots of rules here. I suppose I could be poetic and say it’s kinda like being reborn, but I won’t. What I will say? I’m really, really thirsty.… Read more


Posted in back pain, surgery | 3 Comments
Ok. I realize that I am an idiot. It’s true. The perverse side of me that *needs* to know how an operation works has pushed me over the edge. And I’ve been looking at nasty youtube videos all morning, which I’ll spare all of you. (But if you’re dying to know, just look up microdiscetomy – the ones where the surgeon is listening to classical music pretty much ends it for me.  LOL). Of course, seeing what amounts to what looks like tweezers diving and gouging into something that looks like raw hamburger meat doesn’t really help. So I found the video up above and after watching it, the other ones actually started to make sense. Does it make me feel any better? No. Not really. While I realize that it’s a fairly small surgery – like 45 minutes, it’s still my fucking spine. And there’s still a chance that… Read more

Pain is Pain is Pain

Posted in back pain, surgery | Leave a comment
So I’m giving up. I’ve tried all the conservative treatments for back pain – the PT, epidural steroid shots, stretches, ice, heat, painkillers, etc. None of them are working and things are getting worse on an almost daily basis. I now have pain running down the outside of my left leg to my ankle about 80% of the time, regardless of whether I’m standing or sitting or what have you. Is it the worst pain I’ve ever had? No. But it’s constant, so there’s very little relief to be had. Unfortunately it’s had some pretty detrimental effects on my day to day. It’s very difficult to sit at a desk, for one, but more importantly, I’m not getting much sleep…and I wake up in pain every morning. I can’t pick up my daughter. I can no longer dance. It hurts to drive. I’ve become a tired, angry and sometime vicious… Read more