Crap Food in a Box Review #1

The sad fact of the matter is that as much fun as it is to work from home, I have this massive tendency to eat. Whether it’s just boredom or stress (or too much late night snacking while I write or play WoW or whatever). I was doing very well for a while there, but I need to tighten that belt down a bit more than I have been. A pound here or there makes no real difference – until you ignore them. (And yes, back surgery does tend to make one a slug – I’m only cleared for light walking as it is, so it’s not like I’m gonna be training for a marathon any time soon.) In that respect I’m actually kinda looking forward to going back to work next week. Something about my mindset maybe – I bring the food I’m going to eat for the day and when it runs out, that’s it.  Easier to stick to it, anyway.  (And I’m hoping to start incorporating a bit more of a daily walk once I get back too, even 15 or 20 minutes at lunch will help.)

With all this in mind, I’ve sort of gone back on the Weight Watchers plan. It worked for me a few years ago – I managed to roll off 25 – 30 pounds, and I’ve actually managed to keep it off, with the exception of these last few weeks. (grrrrr) Assuming I can stick with it, I ought to be in good shape by the end of October.

However, not all frozen crap in a box is made equally. So with that in mind, I offer up a review of my newest find: the WW mini pizzas.  And actually, it’s not the food part that I want to review – it’s the packaging. (For WW, these things are actually pretty good – only real problem is that there are only 4 of them – and I could easily eat like 15 in a sitting.)

So – ok – let’s be honest here.  No one *really* eats these things for the taste.  As frozen crap in a box goes, these aren’t too bad, but for me, the reason why WW worked for me was the convenience. I’d tried other diets, but I honestly have no time for food prep, my cooking skills suck ass, and wtf am I gonna do with a 40 lb. tub of wheat germ?  Honestly?

Convenience being the key here – most of these things take very little thinking about.  There’s a point value for starters. Easy enough. Usually prep work involves taking the thing out of the box and shoving it into the microwave. But these mini pizza things are kind of a pain in the ass.

Each box comes with two sets of pizzas.  So you open the plastic of the set you want and the four little pizzas are in the box. And I’m thinking, okay – what, we just pop that box in the microwave and go, right?

Wrong.  They make you take all the little pizzas out and you’re supposed to flip the box over and cook them on the silver thing on the other side.

Which would be fine, except that now I have to juggle four frozen mini pizzas in my hands, and there’s usually a bunch of left over cheese in the bottom of the box that I have to get rid of.  If I just flip it over, I get a mess – and while I might not give a shit at my own house, if I’m at the office, it’s just one more friggin thing that I have to do. And understand, I’m really not this lazy, but lunchtime is super busy in my office – people start stacking up their lunches in front of the microwave  – which means there isn’t much room for prep work. (People also have a habit of standing around the kitchen talking about crap like how Coke will kill them and WW food gives them the shits, but I digress. Am I bitter? No – but I do sit in the cube across from the kitchen. STFU already – no one cares about your bunions, or your gas or why your kids never call.  I wouldn’t call you either.)

I put them on a paper plate here for the picture, but we don’t always have paper plates at the office. I should also note that that silver thing is super slippery. I’ve lifted that box up to the microwave a number of times, just to find out that the slightest tilt causes them to come flying off like mini-hockey pucks. And I don’t care how hungry you are- you’re not eating shit that falls on the office kitchen floor. Or at least, I wouldn’t. (But then, I get to see what people do there.  *shudders*)

My point to all of this is that for a “convenience lunch” this one kind of blows. Why not just put the silver thing on the inside of the box? The pizzas are already there and the box has little walls. How much easier would it be to just pop the plastic off and shove the whole thing in there? Maybe there is something to the mechanics of it all, but I kind of doubt it. It’s frozen pizza, not haute cuisine. And yeah, clearly I have no  life, but I think we already knew that, right?

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