So I’m sitting here this morning wondering why I went to bed at 1 AM. (Which, with the time change, is 3 AM my time). And then I lay there for several hours, unable to sleep. It was noisy out in the hallway of the hotel for sure, but that’s not what was bothering me. My thoughts just kept running around and around, mostly focused on things it’s probably best not to mention. (What, you thought I was going to be *less* cryptic?? Silly you.)
Admittedly, I have a lot of pressure on myself to finish up my editing – and that’s what sucked up most of my time after Winter went to bed. But there’s always more to it than that. I won’t bore people with said thoughts, atm. I’ve already discussed them ad nauseum with some of you anyway. Still, I needed to at least talk about it, so here it is on the blog.
The morning light does seem to make it less of an issue, however. Maybe there’s just something about lying there in the dark that makes me unable to comprehend everything that goes on with some people. And I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that’s saying “Fuck them anyway.” There is. Doesn’t make me feel like a nice person at all, but I’m not sure how to change that. Some people push my buttons just by existing, I guess. Sad, really.
The big girl part of me says I should just move on with my life and ignore the culprits, in whatever form they take. And I have been trying. God knows I have been trying. But it doesn’t always work.