Lipton Soup, I’m afraid I’m going to have to think about giving you up. It’s clear to me now that you’ve been seeing other people behind my back. And the evidence is inside you.
But a goldfish? Seriously? Do you have any idea how heartbreaking it is to be slurping away at your one-billion-milligram-of-sodium-per-spoonful goodness, just to be confronted by a flat and nasty looking goldfish cracker? That I didn’t put in the cup?
Oh sure, you can tell me it was just a random escapee from the local processing plant, but I think we both know better. I’m very disappointed in you, Lipton Cup-a-Soup. Very.
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