Ladies and gents…I present to you: the Banana Candle.
Which sounds like it should be a euphemism for something, but alas…it is not.
As per When Used Books Attack: Banana Edition, (quoted below) this glorious recipe can be found in “Bo Bold With Bananas.”
And I’m all for getting bold with my food, but this seems to be moving into full on fruit peen-landia. (With a cherry on top, no less! See what I did there? Huh? Huh? Phallic innuendo, FTW)
Which is okay. But that’s mayo on that there peely-o-peen. (I mean, icing? Sure, I could sorta see that. Might be fun. But mayo? Ick.)
This monstrosity is called a Banana Candle, which consists of a banana stuck in a pineapple slice, with mayonnaise and a maraschino cherry on top. And it is a crime against nature. If someone brought this into my home, I would slap them, and then burn my house down and salt the ground where it stood. This photo is the reason flocks of birds inexplicably die and fall to the ground. Goats and gangrene, who approved this picture??? Imagine my horror – I actually touched this book.
Thanks to @DaniellePoiesz for notifying me of this particular bit of WTFkry.