Win, Fail and WTFkery

Late night post tonight. Last day or so has been a bit of a crazy mess.

Win:  I bought a new car. It’s a Kia Sorento – basically a glorified mommy mobile, but it should do the job nicely, so that’s good. Plus I got a good number on my trade in.

Fail: Going to Best Buy today to see about getting a subwoofer installed in said Kia. (I like a little extra junk in the trunk, so to speak.) Said experience went like this:

1) Get to Best Buy. Linger around the Mobile section. Watch as salesboys gawk at me and walk by without offering to help. Because I have bewbs and therefore couldn’t POSSIBLY know wtf I want.

2) Sales boy comes up finally and asks me what he can help me with. I say I’m just trying to get some info on subwoofers – i.w. size/price/time for installation. He asks me what kind of car I have. I tell him and he immediately tries to sell me a giant subwoofer in a big felt box. I tell him that’s too big. When I pull up the extra seats there’s no way it will fit in the trunk. I ask him  – how about the Bazooka subwoofer. The one with the amp already inside? I know you guys can order it. He gives me a blank stare and retreats to find me a different salesboy.

3) New salesboy shows up. Asks me the same questions. He looks up my car in the computer to see what they can do but it’s too new. He says there’s no room to install a subwoofer in my car and I’d be better off replacing the entire sound system with something better. “But I just bought the car yesterday and they are Infinity speakers. They’re fine. I just want a subwoofer.” He tells me to take the car to the dock out back and “Glenn” will help me with my equalizer to make the car speakers sound better. I essentially give him a look and tell him I’m not a fucktard. There’s no equalizer in the system – it’s simply bass, mid-level and treble. I say. “How about the Bazooka subwoofer. The one with the amp already inside?”

He says: “I haven’t seen a Bazooka in years. I don’t think they even make them anymore.

Me: “Really? Well the Best Buy website SELLS them.”

Blank Stare. “Those must be new.” He looks them up and tells me to drive around back to talk to Glenn to see what installation would take.

Yeah. No.

3) Fail: The Earthquake. About an hour after I get back from Best Buy, my entire building starts shaking because of the 5.9 Earthquake that erupted in Virginia. Most of Virginia panicked and flooded the roads to flee home in the aftermath, thereby increasing my commute by a millionfold.

4) Win: The Melting Pot for dinner. Best. Fondue. Ever.

5) WTFkery: The State of Texas. Dear TxDOT, please get over  yourself. While I’m sure it’s true you’ve trade marked the “Don’t Mess with Texas” phrase, I HIGHLY doubt anyone would mix up YOUR books with the title of a romance novel with the same. Suing the author for copyright infringement seems downright dimwitted. I dunno. Maybe associating your glorious state with hard erections and sweet spasms of relief would actually get you MORE tourism. Frankly, it’s unlikely anyone would have noticed or cared if you hadn’t started making a stink, but now everyone gets to point and laugh.  I’m half tempted to write a BDSM novel called “Live Free or Die” in the hopes that New Hampshire sues me. The free publicity alone would probably earn me a ton of cash.

…and that concludes my day. Hopefully I will get to show off a few shinies tomorrow. 🙂

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