Making Faces

I’m not an actress. I don’t play one on TV. In truth, I hate the camera. (And I suspect the camera isn’t too fond of me either. >_<)

I make faces. Like to the point where my kids have said “Mom, are you okay? You look so angry.”

(This while I’m pushing the grocery cart through the parking lot or something equally random.)

And it took a moment to realize that while I wasn’t technically angry…my characters were. Which sounds sorta nuts, but I’ve been pretty deep into brainstorming edits the last few weeks. I’ve been overhauling scenes and trying to add more emotional depth or whatever into the characters. The off-set? Apparently I’m acting it out in my head. And my face is reflecting that.

It’s not just angry stuff either, as I’ve caught myself doing a giddy smile thing for no reason at all too, but it all lends itself to the same thing. Part of that organic process, I guess. I know not every writer goes through it, but I liken it to method acting. Some actors have to get into character and stay there in order to do what they need to. Some can just turn it on like flipping a switch.

I know when I used to play PbP games online, it was easy to get very attached to my characters. (Which is why it’s so easy to actually lose/gain friendships over games like that – often the character can become an extension of yourself and then before you know it, actions directed at your character seem like actions directed at *you*. It’s a fine line to walk, sometimes.) But I do remember a few mornings where I would be utterly devastated when something heartbreaking happened to a character, or beyond happy when the character was having a good time.

It could be a sign that I’m bipolar. Or crazy. Or crazy bipolar. Or that I just *really* get into my characters. At the end of the day though, that’s all they are, and while it’s lovely to feel their triumphs or their despair, I still have to be able to put them back into their cupboard and walk back into real life.

I’ll probably continue to make faces, though. But I’m goofy like that.

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