Not Dead Yet

There’s a tree in my front yard that might be dead.

I say might be because I am not a tree whisperer.  Perhaps there is some sort of Ent agenda going on that I’m simply not aware of.

I did break off a few of the smaller branches and there’s not an ounce of green in them. This tree in particular normally seems to put out great big glops of amber sap as well, and right now there’s a whole of nothing. All indications would point to the death of said tree.

On the other hand we had a warm patch in January…and it actually got a few blossoms.  Maybe it’s just confused and gone back to sleep?

I can wait until next year and see if comes back, though that’s two parts curiosity and one part laziness, because honestly, I *really* don’t want to chop it down. And chop it up. And get the stump ground down. And also? I really hope it does come back. I like having a little tree in the yard. Easy for bird observation and nice for shade.

Last week was a total bust for me as far as writing or revising goes. Or anything else that involved cognizant thought. Or anything more extensive than breathing. Between getting sick and the bad reaction to the meds and then getting sick *again*, I suppose I’ll just have to chalk it up as lost time and move along, but it is frustrating because I’m not really any farther along than I was last week.

Deadlines don’t wait for illness, but I’ll admit to feeling at a bit of a loss as to where the last bit of this book is going. I finally finished reading through it last night (since I finished it a few months ago) and it was pretty cringeworthy. Like I think I actually blushed when I put down the page. “I fucking sent this to my editor? Jesus.”

Not that it’s all bad. There’s plenty of good stuff here that I can use, but I can actually pinpoint the moment where it begins to fall apart. Which is good –  I know where the weak spot is…but do I attempt to nurture it into something better? Or do I just slice it off at the knees and plant something new?

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