PG BlogFest Smut Scene!

Okay, I’d actually forgotten to do this (even though I put it on my calendar and everything), so I whipped this up at lunchtime. It’s probably a little rough around the edges, but I think it will do.

The original idea was inspired by Simon Larter, with the understanding that the scene has to meet the following requirements:

1)A short love scene between two characters (yes, two, ‘cause if it’s a threesome or better, it sure as hell ain’t PG!)

2)The reader needs to understand that the act of love is occurring, but the language must remain MG/PG.

3) You may not fade to black because that would be cheating!


I figured I’d give this a shot – though I’m not particualrly good at the PG stuff. I decided to take my characters from the YA SteamPunk thing I’m playing around with and see what they’d do. For some perverse reason, I did it in 1st person present. Though I originally intended to keep this to 500 words, I’m a word-whore, so it’s got a count of 617.  (For the record, she’s 16 and he’s 18, I think…)


So here we go:



I ignore the rats like I always do.
Justin’s hand is warm in mine, despite the thick shadows of the tunnels. Dark and looming, the rusted and decayed remnants of the SteamElders continue forever, like the bowels of some ancient mechanical monster.

He leads me past the steam vents and I duck beneath the gasping exhalation, narrowly avoiding the wash of superheated air. “Don’t touch it,” he murmurs, the words nearly lost in the clank of distressed pipes. The burning steam lifts the damp strands of hair away from my forehead
“Do you think we lost them?” I glance behind us, but there is nothing save the darkness beyond the failing glow of our lantern.  My ears ache, waiting to hear the tell-tale catch of breath, the slide of shoes upon metal grates. I’m rewarded with only a few heartbeats of silence.
He shrugs. His own hair has come loose from its usual proper queue, a tangled weave of auburn cobwebs, gleaming beneath the dust. My fingers itch to set it free, but I hesitate. He catches me staring and I flush.
One dark brow cocks up, his own gaze suddenly appraising, but he says nothing. The heat of my cheeks grows warmer and I wonder if he can tell. 
Abruptly he turns, capturing my hand again, and we start our trek anew.   His fingers weave between mine, as before, but this time it seems as though each casual brush of his thumb over my knuckle sets off a thrumming echo into my bones.  A heated rush sweeps up my arms, singing through my blood. I swallow hard, trying to ignore the tremble in my knees.
My cloak catches on a piece of scrap metal and I crouch down, fumbling with shaking hands.  The tattered wool unravels despite my best efforts.  

“Silly thing,” he mutters, kneeling down to help me, a slight nudge with his shoulder taking the sting out of his words.  I glance up, mumbling my apology, my voice falling away when I realize how close he is. The silence strains between us in a flurry of mingled breaths and then his lips brush mine, his hand tilting my chin upwards.
I don’t think about the tunnels or the guards or the sudden loss of my freedom. This moment, this heated tangle of limbs and hastily pushed aside clothing is more real to me than the shattered possibilities and broken dreams of my past.
I twist towards him, realizing he’s pulled me up. I’m now against the wall. His mouth trails down my neck. The sharp curve of a metal button presses into my belly and I squirm beneath the grinding hitch of his hips.
A burning pain.  

A shuddering sigh.
His surprised murmur.  

My hesitant nod.
Such small and careful movements. I swim in them, the depths of something larger than I know threatening to swallow me up.  And then I feel it – the pulse, pulse, pulse – like the rhythmic tabor of a sea I’ve never seen, echoed in the way Justin smiles my name against my mouth. He is whispering something to me, of stars and a bed of heather and air that doesn’t hurt to breathe – gentle and silly promises that will never come true.
I smile back anyway, his soft chuckle rumbling as he nips my ear.  And then we freeze, hearing a metallic scuffle down the tunnel, chased by a muffled curse. Our eyes meet. There is no more time. I catch the tail end of a rather languid wink before he extinguishes the lantern.  

We take flight, and I hold his promises to me like a second skin, cocooning them within the bruised edges of my heart.

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24 Responses to PG BlogFest Smut Scene!

  1. sarahjayne says:

    Oh, this does more than just do, my dear, it's exquisite. Lovely description.

  2. Courtney Barr - The Southern Princess says:

    Wow. HOT! This was a challenge that definitely kept me twisted in thoughts! I love this. SteamPunk is such an interesting genre to me..I am more and more intrigued by it every time I read something from it. 

    Great job!

    Wonderful scene.

    Visit My Kingdom Anytime

  3. Melissa Dean says:

    Great!  Loved it!  Your writing is wonderful.  I felt like I was there…like a voyeur or something.

  4. mynfel says:

    Heh. Not sure how PG voyeurism is, but I'll take it! 🙂

  5. mynfel says:

    Thanks! I'm not sure if it's going to be a "true" SteamPunk, but it's got a lot of mechanical elements in it. Might qualify as more of a sci-fi/fantasy thing. 

  6. mynfel says:

    Thanks! I'm glad you like it. It's still rough – I think I tend to use too many commas and strange sentence structures, but this was really fun to do. 

  7. Kristen Yard says:

    Wow. That was amazing, awesome job!!!

  8. Danica says:

    Allison, great job! You did a wonderful job of letting us know what's happening without being explicit. Good stuff!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Nice.  Not and objectional word in the lot, but the action and the feelings are conveyed.

  10. VR Barkowski says:

    <p>Gorgeous writing, pristine, puts me in the scene immediately. I read it twice by choice, first for pleasure and the second time to see if you met the PG challenge. It was a complete success on both counts. Your voice is bright and clear, and it shines here.
    </p>

  11. mynfel says:

    Thanks! 🙂  It's harder than it looks, especially since there was some confusion as to whether PG/MG meant that the love scene had to be between MG age kids (and no thank, I'm not going there). But I figured this was close enough.

  12. Danielle says:

    Ummm…I LOVE IT!!! Great imagery, strong character (even in this little bit of action!), and truly engaging voice (as usual)! Fantastic job!   🙂  

  13. mynfel says:

    W00t!   🙂

    The story is mostly in the concept stages at the moment, tho I've got some rough stuff sketched out. Maybe in between your three books I'll manage to crank it out. 

    (Tho I'm not sure I really intended for there to be *any* smut in this particular book – but I like to run my unknown characters through a test drive or two, and this made an ideal place to play)/.

  14. Sara says:

    "a tangled weave of auburn cobwebs, gleaming beneath the dust"

    You have a freaking awesome way with words!! I loved this–enough that I really, really didn't want it to end. I want to so much more about them, about the situation… Everything!

  15. Livia says:

    Nice.  I like your descriptions.

  16. mynfel says:

    Thanks!   🙂   The fact that you want to read more is a good sign. Makes me actually want to finish the story. 😉

  17. mynfel says:

    Thanks! 😀

  18. mynfel says:

    One of these days you're going to have to share some of your writing with me… 🙂

  19. Hayley says:

    I loved this! It was vivid and powerful, great job. I'm glad I got to it, after posting last night there was no time to go through everyone elses posts. This was just great, loved the scenery and the detail.

  20. Anonymous says:

    This was very interesting.  I'm just getting interested in steam punk, and find I like it a lot.

    ……….dhole

  21. Simon says:

    Oh, shee-yit. This is why you can sell a trilogy at auction, good lady. World built? Check. Interesting use of language? Check. Hotness? Check. PG? Er… no. Nope. Not so much. 🙂

    However, I failed epically at PG too, as did most folks. This is still an awesome scene. Well done!

  22. mynfel says:

    Heh. That's probably about the tamest thing I've written in a very long time. I guess I could have been less detailed (i.e. just portrayed it in a few lines), but just not my thing, I guess. 

    Glad you liked it tho!  There were so many good entries and this was a lot of fun. 🙂

  23. Melanie Sherman says:

    Whew!  Hot stuff.  Not MG, but very well done.

  24. mynfel says:

    Thanks! 🙂

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