I went for a walk today at lunch – a really, nice one outside the office. Started out chilly, but by the end I was fairly warm. It felt good – I needed to stretch out the legs and the back, and honestly, I’m so utterly overwhelmed with work today that I just needed to get *out*.
It’s interesting, though. My walking stride has changed quite a bit from what it was. I’d spent so long with a guarded hitch to my hips that I’ve nearly forgotten what “normal” is. So even as I walked today, I really had to work at letting myself relax, trying to straighten up, trying to let my legs move as they would. It took about half a mile before I stopped being surprised that my steps no longer caused pain, but old habits die hard. I still find myself holding back, waiting for it to hurt.
It may be a while, yet, before I can regain a true semblance of my old, familiar grace. And it’s not perfect – I still have trouble standing directly upright, thanks to a wondrous knot of scar tissue just below the skin. It’s squishy, but feels distinctly strange when the bones rub against it. Doesn’t hurt – just don’t like the way it feels.
Kind of like the writing these days, I suppose. The first book is finished, which is great – but I find myself struggling here and there with Shadow Weaver. On one hand, I own Abby’s voice now. It’s easier to slip into her the second time around. But on the other, I’m continually trying to free myself from the last book’s mistakes, whether it’s grammatical in nature, or plot, or something else entirely. It’s stunting me.
MoonSong is an entirely different animal all together. Thinking about it hurts, for sure – but then I find myself putting the words down on the page, and I’m surprised at just how little pain it causes.
And yet, old habits die hard.
